“We” Is a Collective Effort

You know what’s uncomfortable? Being openly honest in relationships. Telling someone about themselves. Accepting someone’s criticism of you. What is greater and more impactful is growing and watching someone you love grow as well.

In this video clip of The Real (scrub to 3:55) the ladies briefly discussed what it would be like to complete a progress report on your partner…and I was like…

Here are three big problems in relationships:

-Constantly talking or arguing about the same issues without any progress made

-Not knowing when to walk away; walking away too soon or too late


What if all couples sat down once or twice a year to discuss/rate things like: the five love languages (physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gift giving), communication, finances, etc.? They would rate themselves and their partner’s contributions to the relationship. Then compare it against their partner’s ratings to see where they both align (or not). Ideally, this should entice conversation around strategies to build a better relationship.

First of all, the hope here is that people would be honest about their needs/wants, and be open to compliments and criticism.

Second, just like work evaluations, acknowledging the things that are done well further encourages one to continue doing what they do best. And similarly, setting goals for the future can help hold someone accountable.

The tricky part is deciding whether or not to use these progress reports as grounds for staying in or ending relationships. A lot of people leave relationships not knowing what they did wrong, or if it could have been fixed; I think this could be a solve for that. I also think progress reports should at least be mandatory for marriages. Is it mandatory, but people just don’t do it?

I’m curious to learn more about this in general and want to try it in my own relationship. 🙂